So today was day one of @SBF_FTX "i am too dumb to be a criminal mastermind" world tour.

Join us tomorrow for day two when he channels Simple Jack next to Janet Yellen and Zelenskyy at the NYT summit of totally non-criminal folks.

— zerohedge (@zerohedge) November 30, 2022

… the weakest link in SBF’s defense was just spotted in a New York coffee shop, amid speculation she is preparing to blow up SBF’s entire defense strategy.

According to Autism Capital, the former CEO of Alameda Capital (which as a reminder was ground zero of the FTX implosion after it blew up $8 billion in FTX client funds on trades gone horribly wrong), Caroline Ellison, was spotted at 8:15am this morning at the Ground Support Coffee on West Broad in SoHo Manhattan. This, as AC notes, “would mean she is not in Hong Kong and is in NY not in custody.”

PLEASE CONFIRM: A user claims that they spotted Caroline Ellison at Ground Support Coffee on West Broad in SoHo Manhattan at 8:15 AM. This would mean she is not in Hong Kong and is in NY not in custody. pic.twitter.com/QUduYO9GfZ

— Autism Capital (@AutismCapital) December 4, 2022

A statement from a barista at the coffee shop confirmed that it was in fact Caroline.

CONFIRMED: The barista behind the counter has confirmed it was Caroline. https://t.co/BzO8KZRE8V

— Autism Capital (@AutismCapital) December 4, 2022

Why does this matter? Because while the prominent Democrat donor, who reportedly is “responsible for Biden being in office” and who – at least according to Musk – donated over $1 billion to democrats…

That’s just the publicly disclosed number. His actual support of Dem elections is probably over $1B. The money went somewhere, so where did it go?

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 3, 2022

… continues his deluded daily media appearances while casually throwing his former alleged lover, co-worker and penthouse-mate, Caroline – and pretty much all other co-workers – under the bus by claiming he has no idea how $8 billion in FTX client funds just vaporized in SBF’s personal hedge fund, Alameda (implying that only Alameda’s CEO, Ellison, was responsible for the theft and fraud) Caroline is two-steps ahead of SBF and is already cooperating with members of the DOJ, and specifically the SDNY, which we previously reported is probing the collapse of FTX.

The general consensus is that Caroline Ellison is likely in NY cutting a deal and cooperating with SDNY prosecutors to roll on Sam.

— Autism Capital (@AutismCapital) December 4, 2022

Subsequent reports have only reinforced this rumor, and the latest is that Ellison is being represented by DC law firm, WilmerHale…

A highly credible source claims that Caroline Ellison is currently being represented by WilmerHale, a well known DC insider law firm. Please verify.

— Autism Capital (@AutismCapital) December 5, 2022

… best known for its Government Affairs Department Chair, Jamie Gorelick, who was the former No. 2 ranking member in the Clinton Justice Department, and in a recent interview, she referred to Garland as her “wingman.”

If indeed Ellison is working the Feds while currying favor with SBF’s former closest friends, the days of Bankman-Fried – who may or may not soon commit Epsteincide – outside of a prison cell are numbered.

As for SBF, who is still wasting his time “uhhhm“-ing and “well“-ing across various interviews hoping to demonstrate to the world – and his future jurors – just how bloody stupid he really was…

… and blaming it all on messy accounting, poor risk management, and of course, Caroline Ellison – not his premeditated fraud of course – even the CEO of Coinbase is no longer buying his relentless bullshit, saying earlier that no matter how “messy you accounting is (or how rich you are) – you’re definitely going to notice if you find an extra $8B to spend” adding that “even the most gullible person should not believe Sam’s claim that this was an accounting error” (here he is referring to Bill Ackman, of course), and correctly concluded that “it’s stolen customer money used in his hedge fund, plain and simple.”

It's stolen customer money used in his hedge fund, plain and simple.

— Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) December 3, 2022

All that’s missing is the definitive proof, and if the above rumors are correct, Caroline Ellison is in the process of, or already has provided it to the Feds. Which incidentally, may explain why SBF’s “I am Simple Ja-ja-ja-jack, i’m so-so-so-sorry” tour just came to a crashing halt, when late on Sunday, the commingling masterming told Maxine Waters he won’t be voluntarily appearing before Congress – where any lie is a perjury – on the 13th (or ever for that matter).

Rep. Waters, and the House Committee on Financial Services:

Once I have finished learning and reviewing what happened, I would feel like it was my duty to appear before the committee and explain.

I'm not sure that will happen by the 13th. But when it does, I will testify. https://t.co/c0P8yKlyQt

— SBF (@SBF_FTX) December 4, 2022

Article cross-posted from Zero Hedge.